Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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