You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
