I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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