hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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