not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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