So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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