quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
