dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
