So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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