I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
