Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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