dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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