Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
