ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize