Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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