I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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