It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
