i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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