I must be too annoying 4 u.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
