he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
