Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
