I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
