Welp...herpes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
