I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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