yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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