At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize