That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
