she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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