Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
ttyl tear gas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
