saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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