I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
