I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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