so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
