Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We left an ass print on the piano.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am one with the molecules
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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