is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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