Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need a burrito and a hug.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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