brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
