Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was like eating out sand paper
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
