Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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