i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize