i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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