its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
