Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
