Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
