i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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