stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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