i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
