We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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