Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Two words: blizzard sex
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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