they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
