in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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