90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
