we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
