Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
