one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
