put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
smell my finger.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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