remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
handjob tips. give me some.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
