sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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