hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
