dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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