Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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