GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
