booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
