32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
