she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
