I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
