Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
