You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
