You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
