No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
