In the future we'll all be gay
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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