I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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